Embracing Identity and Authenticity in Therapy: An Interview with Kiley Moore
In this insightful interview, Kiley Moore, a dedicated therapist at InPowered Therapy, shares how her diverse identity and experiences influence her clinical practice. Her journey from performer to therapist reveals the impact of integrating one's true self into their professional life.
Exploring Gender Identity
“Q: What does it mean to explore gender identity with you?”
When discussing gender identity, Kiley emphasized how deeply we have internalized core beliefs about gender, the importance of authenticity, and of dismantling societal and familial expectations.
"It can be really shattering...a huge shift in consciousness about what gender demands look like for you." “Once the things that don't fit you anymore are stripped away, what you are left with is something closer to who you really are.
It likely won't perfectly fit in a binary, it could, but it doesn't have to.” Kiley goes on to acknowledge that as a cisgender woman; “This is my own approach to it. As a queer identifying person, I’ve done this sort of discernment myself in different ways. I've thought about reclaiming identity through a process of exploration, acceptance, and alignment.” She guides her clients through this potentially disorienting process by helping them strip away external pressures and face the fear and uncertainty as they allow themselves to confront difficult questions such as, 'What am I going to lose? Who am I going to lose? And what am I going to gain?' Kiley holds space to honor these feelings and encourages clients to find grounding truths and guiding lights to navigate their journey as they work to uncover their core essence.
“Then you are at a point where you're living in the world presenting how you want to present, connecting with people how you want to connect.
If you do lose people, then that's when those grounding parts, those guiding lights, those things that you know to be true, they're gonna be the things that remind you that you are moving in the right direction.”
Societal Challenges in Emotional Regulation
“Q: What do you think society doesn't prepare us for in terms of emotional regulation and insight?”
Reflecting on societal influences, Kiley highlighted the impact of individualistic culture on emotional regulation and insight. "For those of us raised in an individualistic culture, it can be difficult to connect with people and to maintain openness. We're taught in many ways to look out for number one.” This competitive mindset stifles vulnerability and emotional intelligence, leading to defensive and reactive behaviors. She elaborates,
“People don't ask how they can contribute to the greater good, to each other. We're afraid to be vulnerable and show our bellies which closes us off from contributing to the whole, a very important part of being human."
Kiley reflected on society's hindrance on tapping into insight. "As someone who was socialized as a girl, being passive and accommodating was valued. For me it didn’t leave much space for asking questions or asserting my opinion. If I did have a concern about something, the response was often ‘you don’t know what you’re talking about, you're overreacting.' So I would question myself. I didn't trust my decision-making. My hope instead is that people teach their kids to be curious," she acknowledged, emphasizing the need for nurturing curiosity and self-awareness from a young age.
Integrating Identity into Therapeutic Practice
“Q: How do you incorporate your identity into your work?’
Kiley: "I was thinking about multiple parts of my identity that come into the room, and my identity as a performer is so integral to who I am," she shared. “It creates an appreciation for difference and nuance. I tend to look at things like it is all art.” This artistic lens allows Kiley to perceive depth and intentionality in everyday scenarios, fostering empathy and understanding in her therapeutic practice. She recounted a moment when she mistook a pile of trash for an art installation, laughing at her “ability” to find meaning in the mundane. This perspective helps her "give people the benefit of the doubt" and recognize the underlying intentions in their actions.
Her journey as an actor and musician also taught her the value of authenticity and risk-taking.
"As an actor and musician, there was a period of reckoning for me where I was like, I am not going to be everything to everyone. I don't know what these people want to see or what they're expecting, so I really just had to let go of that. It allows me to be in alignment with myself rather than others' expectations.
It comes into the room clinically. A large part of my practice is helping people get more in alignment with themselves, taking others' expectations out of it. Because you know, if someone decides they don't like your art or they don't want to hire you, at least you can feel good about how you've presented yourself. You can feel solid about the choices that you've made. I think people get pretty caught up in others' expectations."
Sharing Authenticity Through Creative Expression
“Q: When do you feel the most you?”
For Kiley, the stage is where she feels most herself. "When I'm on stage with my bandmates, it's like everything else goes away and I'm right where I'm supposed to be. That's the thing about performing or art, creative expression. The joy of being on stage for me is so closely tied with every emotion I've ever experienced.” The vulnerability and connection inherent in performing resonate deeply with her, mirroring the essence of her therapeutic work.
“It's vulnerable, soft… it's the point of making art, to communicate your experience as an offering to others. To connect with people who might have a similar experience and to hear it and to see it."
Kiley’s journey exemplifies the power of embracing one's identity and integrating it into her professional life. Her blend of artistry and therapy offers unique insights and approaches, fostering deeper connections and authentic self-expression in herself and clients. Kiley’s experience translates to being a more authentic and vulnerable therapist with her clients.
Tarot As A Tool For Self Reflection
Q: “How do you use tarot in your practice?”
In her quest to enhance self-reflection and intuition, Kiley found a powerful tool in tarot. "I got into turning up my intuition by getting back to it through the tarot.” She described how the nature of cards allows for personal interpretation and introspection.
“The cards are so subjective, a collection of perspectives and centuries of writing. You look at the card and you’re looking at the artist’s interpretation of ancient themes and symbolism. You can take all of that into consideration, and then fill in the blanks for yourself. What does this mean to me right now as I'm looking at it? As it applies to my life? It gives you a moment to look at yourself, to turn inward.”
Kiley has even incorporated tarot into her therapy sessions, using it as a means for clients to explore their inner landscapes and archetypal experiences. “It's another way to self-reflect. Jungian archetypes, those are all in there as well. They help us tune into ourselves as well as the collective experience."